Featured Sketch of the Day

Sketch of the Day 21

Some years ago, my buddy David convinced me to go on Florida’s local version of the Bachelor called “Kissing Cousins.” And, as luck would have it, I was chosen to be that season’s “prized pig.” After weeks of competition my choices were whittled (quite literally, their final challenge was whittling) down to two: A young lady whose name I don’t remember, and a lovely elementary school teacher named Kate Daniel. Naturally, I chose Kate, and our prize was an all-expense paid trip to beautiful Lakeland Florida, the vacation capital of the Orlampa area. Since we were so close to her hometown, Kate suggested we go to Sarasota to meet her family and friends, since up to that point they would have only known me from the magic picture box in their living rooms.

And it was while there that I first met her best friend Megan. She was working as an aerial silk performer at the Ringling Circus at the time, although I quickly found out that her real passion was for taxidermy, which happens to be a hobby of mine as well. It was then, when we started talking about the variety of uses for formaldehyde, that I knew our lives would become forever intertwined…

She may tell you we met differently.

But, whichever version you choose to believe, the end result will still be the same: One year ago today she threw in the towel and married me.

So, happy anniversary my darling dear—I love you, and I am so glad you settled.

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